OTTAWA, Kan. — For some war veterans with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the sights and sounds on the Fourth of July can be nothing short of a shell-shocking nightmare.
“The sounds, the appearances, the smells…they send me back to where I once was,” Allen Hill of Ottawa, Kan said.
He’s been back from Iraq for nearly six years, but due to PTSD he still can’t shake the feeling of being in battle.
“Think about something that scared you once and then that moment is seared into your brain,” Allen said.
Every Fourth of July, Allen fights that battle.
“When he has an episode, he’s not here, he doesn’t see us,” said wife Gina Hill, “If he sees us we’re someone in Iraq instead of his family, so for him it can be pretty dangerous.”
Allen said he and his family prepare for the worst on the holiday with a back-up plan.
If the fireworks prove to be too much, Allen will go into his “quiet room”, equipped with soundproof walls and special equipment to block out the noise.
“Hopefully it won’t come down to that because I like being around my family and friends on the holidays, but this is one of those times where I really have to be cautious about what I do,” he said.
Allen’s family said each year, he gets a little better. He has the help of his service dog, Frankie, and constant reminders from his wife that he’s at home and not in harm’s way.
“Anytime he goes outside, I remind him there could be fireworks just so he’s a little more prepared,” she said.
In Allen’s words: “Freedom isn’t free.” He said he’s paying a relatively small price compared to men he once knew.
“I’m going to try my best to partake in the holiday, enjoy it and realize what it actually took to get here,” he said.